1. If I can't afford to live on my own, where can I live with my baby?
Explore your housing options before you make any decisions. Look for a safe and affordable place. Consider your childcare options in each situation.

• Living with a friend or relative
• Living with your parents or the birthfather's parents
• Living in a group home for single mothers
• Living in public subsidized housing (there may be a long waiting list)
• Living in a home where you rent a room or basement

2. Can anyone help me with the cost of pre-natal care and delivery?
Yes. There are government programs, private programs, and in some cases, programs run by midwifes (trained nurses.) They usually all charge on a sliding scale fee (according to your income.) Call your local pregnancy help center for referrals.

3. Can anyone help me with baby items?
Many churches and private organizations like ours are eager to help you with maternity and baby clothing, baby items like cribs, strollers, toys and much more. Your local pregnancy help center can connect you with parenting resources.

4. Childcare, formula, and diapers are so expensive. How will I be able to afford it?
There are government and private programs to assist you in those areas. Check with your local social service agency, your local pregnancy center, and organizations that give away food & clothing.

5. How do I get support from the birthfather?
The birthfather's legal responsibilities include providing financial support for your child. Most states have a child support enforcement agency which will withhold money from his paycheck if he is unwilling to pay. If the birthfather is unable to provide child support, you need to plan how you will care for your baby without it. A birthfather's support record may influence court decisions about custody and visitation rights.

6. What rights does the birthfather have?
In some states, the birthfather's name is not even put on the birth certificate unless you request it. If he has signed a notarized paternity affidavit, he may have legal rights, including visitation and the right to deny or consent to medical decisions for your child. An attorney, or your state department of social services representative will provide more details about the birthfather's rights and responsibilities. You and the birthfather should also discuss your individual rights and responsibilities. A child's needs are best met when birthparents work together.

7. I don't want to be a mother on welfare. Can I get job training?
If you are receiving assistance, you may be eligible for programs which help with job training, tuition, and childcare. Otherwise, you might rely on educational grants and loans while working to cover living expenses and childcare. Some pregnancy centers like ours offer computer training at no charge to low-income moms. Many colleges and universities are now offering special programs that are geared toward working adults. They offer classes at nights, on the weekends, or on the Internet. Single parenting often means altering your goals and plans. But with determination and job training, you can achieve greater security for your self and your baby.

8. Can I be forced to quit school?
Most schools will encourage you to continue your education. Some schools offer night classes, loans, childcare, and even transportation. You may decide to take a semester off while you adjust to single parenting, but you can still reach your educational goals.

9. How will single parenting affect my dating?
Parenting may limit your dating. When you choose to parent, your child's needs will demand most of your attention. Some people you date may not want to take second place to a child. Others will not mind that you are parenting. Before getting into a serious relationship, consider the effect on your child. Try to balance freedom and responsibility. Allow yourself some "fun time" in your schedule, or you may begin to resent your child.

10. How do I explain to my child why there is no father in our home?
An absent father may be hard for a child to understand. Explain that because of complicated circumstances, he is unable to be part of your family. You need to talk as positively about the birthfather as you can without being dishonest. Even if you don't like him, he is still special to your child.

11. What rights to grandparents have?
State laws vary about grandparent's custody and visitation rights. By law, birthparents are the only ones who have rights and responsibilities toward the child. However, grandparents are important in your child's life and history. They can also be very helpful. View their help, however, as a temporary solution. It is important for you to be as independent as possible. If you live with your parents or grandparents, they have a right to insist on a few rules.

12. Can I still choose adoption later if parenting doesn't work out?
If single parenting becomes too difficult and you decide to consider adoption, you are not a bad parent. It takes courage to realize that by yourself you cannot provide all that your child needs. But separating from a child with whom you have bonded can be difficult for you and for the child. A trusted and wise counselor can help you and your child through this process. Look for an agency that can help you make an adoption plan you can live with.

Whatever your need, whatever your situation, please remember you are not the first to experience it and you are not alone. Seek out an organization like ours for assistance and encouragement.