Tips for Choosing an Adoption Facilitator

If you have an unplanned pregnancy and are considering releasing your child for adoption, are you confused about where to begin? It is critical that you have a facilitator you can trust. After all, this decision will affect you and your child for the rest of your lives.

A compassionate facilitator will explain all aspects of the adoption process to you and provide ongoing services to meet your emotional needs at this time. An agency such as Bethany Christian Services finds loving homes for ALL infants, regardless of race, or physical or mental challenges.

1. Does the facilitator listen to you and discuss what you feel is best for you and your baby both now and in the future? If your facilitator does all the talking about what is best for you and your baby or tells you what a "good" adoption plan is for you, he or she has a pre-set formula for adoptions and could disregard your right to make your own plan for your baby. Trustworthy facilitators will take the time to help you decide if adoption is right for you and will honestly discuss your options and rights when forming an adoption or parenting.

2. Will your facilitator be there for you before, during, and after the birth of your baby? A reputable facilitator will be supportive of you during all states of your pregnancy and after the birth of your baby…whether you choose adoption or parenting.

3. During your pregnancy, does your facilitator have access to resources that can assist you with housing, medical and living expenses, maternity clothes, and counseling? A facilitator who offers comprehensive services will provide ongoing counseling and put you in touch with community resources that will help with your immediate needs.

4. Are services only linked to how much an adoptive family is willing to pay? A reputable facilitator wants to find the best family for your child, and fees should not impact this decision.

5. Talking to some facilitator, do they make you feel like you're "selling" your baby? Trust your instincts. If you were offered money up front to work with an agency or attorney, the facilitator wants your baby at a price and is not concerned about your needs. The facilitator's goal is to convince you to release your baby.

6. Will you be able to see your baby after he or she is placed for adoption? The degree of openness in the adoption is by mutual agreement between the birthparents and adoptive parents. Your facilitator can explain all of your options to you.

7. What about the birthfather? A facilitator who tells you it is unnecessary to contact the birthfather to complete the adoption plan is putting your plan and your child's future at great risk of disruption. Birthfathers have certain legal rights, and experienced facilitators will work with you and the birthfather to complete the adoption plan.

Bethany Christian Services, "A is for Adoption", an adoption guide for birthparents. 1998.