Adoption - General Information
Adoptions generally follow the pattern below:
- No legally binding decisions can be made before the baby is born. She can sign no papers agreeing to the adoption before the birth. Only after the baby has been born and a short time has passed, is the decision legally binding.
- In Maryland, a birthmother can change her mind for up to 30 days after birth.
- Various degrees of Open Adoption operate in every state. Some birthmothers will allow the adoptive parents in the delivery room. Some choose no face-to-face contact, but rather select the family from a detailed application of the adoptive couple. After the adoption of the child, involvement may include receiving photos of the child or visitations up to a certain agreed-upon age.
Agency Adoption vs Independent Adoption
Agency adoption facilitates uniting a child with a couple by working with the birthparents. They handle the legal responsibilities. They counsel and work with the birthparents in every aspect of the adoption. The birthmother receives counseling about the process and what to expect.
Independent Adoption is done privately through a lawyer, the adoptive couple and the birthparents. Several issues for not choosing this method are there may have been no home study done on the adoptive couple. While one can never be sure about a person's lifestyle, values and behavior, a home study will rule out obvious red flags, such as criminal behavior, or severe health problems or lifestyle problems.
Also, counseling for the birthparents is often not provided in an independent adoption which leaves the birthparents ill-prepared for the feelings they will experience. This is not to say that all independent adoptions are not appropriate, but rather one must be aware of the advantages and disadvantages of each choice.
Grieving
The grief of placing a child in adoption is similar to that of losing a loved one by death. Throughout the pregnancy, it is necessary for the birthmother to share her feeling about losing the baby. Many women experience intense grieving during certain anniversaries, such as their child's birthday, Christmas, and special times of the year.
After the delivery, if the birthmother does not feel sure of her decision regarding adoption, the baby may be kept in foster care, or she may take the child home while she reconsiders her decision.
| Adoption of the Past |
Adoption Today |
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Birthparents had no rights
Closed files-No info shared
Adoption records are sealed
Minimum counseling provided
Lack of contact with the baby. Often after the birth, the baby was
whisked away, never to be seen
again.
Focus was on adopting couple's need for a baby. A baby was
located for them.
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Birth parents can select a couple from written profiles; meet adoptive parents before/after birth; and negotiate the amount of contact after placement (pictures, letters, visits, videos)
Open-Info about birthparents and adoptive families are openly shared and exchanged.
Records are more open, allowing a child at 21 the opportunity to find birthparents, if birthparents are supportive of the idea
Free counseling provided throughout and after the birth. Post-adoption support groups are provided for birthparents and grandparents.
Amount of contact is up to birth parents. Mother can take care of baby in hospital.
Focus on birthparents and baby's needs.
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Adoption vs. Abortion
Types of Adoption
Choosing an Adoption Facilitator
Adoption Links:
www.adoption.com
www.adopting.com
www.adopting.org
www.bethany.org